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Blame Canada! (For Yet Another Crappy Film Version Of Moby Dick, Except This Time Filmed In Malta…And Canada)

Some guy named Mike Barker who directed some Canadian miniseries version of Jack London’s “Sea Wolf” is going to make a TV miniseries about Moby Dick, and, according to one of my favorite “newspaper” sentences of all times, “Although very little is being released at this time about the project, it has been confirmed that it is a period film set in the 1850s.”

I should hope so, but you never freakin’ know these days.

I’m not familiar with any of Mr. Barker‘s work. Perhaps a Canadian reader who saw the Sea Wolf series can report if it sucked or not. It gets a 6 on imdb from users. It seems Barker is a specialist in period pieces, and he’s recently directed some B level talent in some of his films that I’ve never heard of.

I couldn’t find any video of Sea Wolf. I did look.

Apparently Neve Campbell was in the Sea Wolf series. I thought she might have committed suicide after receiving her lifetime achievement award for Wild Things.

These Eleven Dudes Are Going To Use Every Part Of This Whale

I dont usually say this, but they appear to be having a whale of a time on that whale

I don't usually say this, but they appear to be having a whale of a time on that whale

Hunters from the Kivalliq region of Nunavut caught a summer whale recently, a bowhead. The harpooner: Ross Tatty of Rankin Inlet (he’s probably up there in that picture).

In Canada, They Still Use Every Part Of The Whale

A necropsy was performed on a dead whale found attached to the bow of a cruise ship

A necropsy was performed on a dead whale found attached to the bow of a cruise ship

The carcass of the fin whale found attached to the bow of a cruise ship in Vancouver recently has been dragged out into the open ocean and lowered to the seabed where it will become an “island of life.” Researchers say that the dead whale, which weighs as much as 70 tons, can help to sustain sea life for years.

During the necropsy, it was also discovered that the whale was likely sick; its stomach was empty and its blubber layer was too thin.

Blame Canada! Dead Whale Found On Cruiseship Bow

Fisheries officials examine dead whale attached to cruise ship bow in Vancouver, BC (Darryl Dyck / THE CANADIAN PRESS)

Fisheries officials examine dead whale attached to cruise ship bow in Vancouver, BC (Darryl Dyck / THE CANADIAN PRESS)

The Sapphire Princess cruise ship docked in Vancouver on Saturday with a dead 70 fin whale stuck to its bow. It’s not clear if the ship killed the whale or just dragged its already dead carcass back to port.

Fin whales (also called finback whales) are the second largest living creatures on the planet, smaller only than blue whales, and they are listed as an endangered species in Canada.

Ship strikes remain a very serious threat to many species of whales, including the North Atlantic right whales, of which only about 350 are believed to remain.

Captive Beluga Whale Gives Birth In Vancouver (video)

In the video above a beluga whale gives birth to a baby girl beluga whale. This happened Sunday, June 7, 2009 in Canada.

This event, however, often occurs naturally in the ocean.

Watch how the baby whale goes straight up for air.

Whale-related Play In Calgary, Alberta Opens To Unimaginative Reviews (Hint: It’s A “Whale Of A Tale”)

I searched and searched for pictures…and I finally found pictures.

Justin Michael Carriere as Hector and Shawna Burnett as Kira in The Invention of Music, a new comedy by Clem Martini on the TransCanada Stage at Lunchbox Theatre, March 30 – April 25, 2009. Photograph by Benjamin Laird Arts and Photo.

Justin Michael Carriere as Hector and Shawna Burnett as Kira in "The Invention of Music", a new comedy by Clem Martini on the TransCanada Stage at Lunchbox Theatre, March 30 – April 25, 2009. Photograph by Benjamin Laird Arts and Photo.


So…it appears that the Lunchbox Theater in Calgary, Alberta, CA specializes exclusively in one act plays. This, according to their web sheet:

A one-act play is a short play that takes place in one act consisting of one or more scenes. The “one-act” is often referred to as the “short story” of plays because the story is told in a concise and creatively efficient manner. One-act plays, as with full length plays, come in all genres: comedies, dramas and musicals. At Lunchbox Theatre we program mainly comedies and musicals as we provide a noon-time oasis for our busy audience members.

First of all, let’s deconstruct Lunchbox Theater’s definition of one act play:

A one-act play is a short play that takes place in one act…

Seriously, God bless community theater. Especially when it’s community lunch hour theater. And especially when their current play is about whales! “The Invention Of Music” runs thru 4/25.
First of all, the play is written by a dude named Clem Martini. It’s impossible to determine which name is better, his first or his last. And despite being a novelist, playwright, and university prof, Clem Martini does not appear to have his own wikipedia entry.

Clem Martini, struggling to support the weight of the genius thats trapped in his head.

Clem Martini, struggling to support the weight of the genius that's trapped in his head.


“The Invention of Music” is supposedly a comedy about whales in rehab. There’s Frank, the finback, with a radio-receiver harpoon in his head.
Son, youve got a harpoon in your head. (Photograph by Benjamin Laird Arts and Photo)

Son, you've got a harpoon in your head. (Photograph by Benjamin Laird Arts and Photo)


There’s Bill The Blue Whale, self-conscious about his weight.
Hes fat, but hes also big boned (Photograph by Benjamin Laird Arts and Photo)

He's fat, but he's also big boned (Photograph by Benjamin Laird Arts and Photo)


There’s Hector, the happy humpback.
Ive mostly only known Mexican guys named Hector (Photograph by Benjamin Laird Arts and Photo)

I've mostly only known Mexican guys named Hector (Photograph by Benjamin Laird Arts and Photo)


And there’s Kira, a female Orca, played by Shawna Burnett…whose range is demonstrated in these stills.






Kira is in love with Hector.

Louis B. Hobson, from SunMedia.ca, gives the 2.5 out of five stars. He calls the costume design “bargain basement,” but refrains from using the phrase “whale of a tale” (in the review, but not in the PREview).

Bob Clark, of the Calgary Herald, gives it a 4 out of five, and calls it “imaginative, funny, and wise.” He makes reference to there being some whales “of a tale.”

So the reviews round out to a 3.25 out of 5. I’m going to check the last minute deals at Travelocity.com now.

Killer Whales Reap The Benefits Of Global Warming

(source: BC Tourism)

(source: BC Tourism)

After a four year study, researches have concluded that the killer whale population in the Hudson Bay has increased. The reason: Global Warming.

(Steve Ferguson, a Winnipeg-based research scientist with the federal Department of Fisheries and Oceans) said the increase in Arctic orcas is likely due to a loss of sea ice in the Hudson Strait going back to the 1940s, which allowed killer whales to enter the Hudson Bay more easily.